In the last couple of days I have spent so much time outside that I seem to have gotten a non-stop headache from the sun. Combined with a cold that has come on and won't let me walk or sleep or do anything without needing to cough every 2 seconds, I'm feeling a bit nasty. I'm feeling so bad that I have not been able to take advantage of the incredible cheap wine offered at every restuarant. Oh the terrors, oh the hard life. I can feel your sympathy.Yesterday I spent the day laying on the beach, reading and sleeping, after a bit of a non-successful walk around town wearing the wrong kind of shoes. I find it easy to be by myself in situation such as these; walking and suntanning by myself does not bother me.
What I do find difficult are meal times, which I have missed a number of due to my fear around my lack of French and my embarrasement at being seen as a lonely somebody sitting by myself. The first time it took me an hour of walking to finally find somewhere I found safe enough and where I could get up the guts to ask for a table. Yesterday it took slightly less, but not by much.
Going up to people and asking for things has always been difficult for me to do and so doing this in another country is just frightening. Yesterday I made myself go into a bakery and ask for bread and brioche. Upon departure (with bread and brioche in hand) I was ecstatic and on such a high from my conquer that I didn't know what to do with myself. It are these small things that are so big and terrifying in my life that I am here to set straight. So ...
Goal #1: Learn to enjoy and relish eating alone in a restuarant full of couples and happy-go-lucky people.
I had this fear too before I went travelling. There were two ways I dealt with it and I'm now pretty comfortable eating alone. First: take a book or something to read with you so you don't look lonely. You have a purpose and that is spending time with your book or newspaper or magazine while enjoying a bite to eat. (And also try to realize that people aren't really looking at you anyway, you're probably the only one who notices).
ReplyDeleteSecond: Approach another solo diner and ask if you can join them. Yeah, I know this one is kind of scary and I didn't always feel up to it but when I did, I almost always had the greatest conversations with people who were thrilled to have some company.
I can totally identify with this! I have eaten alone in so many restaurants while travelling. Some days it felt like pure torture and it seemed like every happy couple in there was whispering about me. yuck!! I think it helps to bring a book - novel, journal or guidebook. It also helps to have a drink or two (but getting drunk alone in a restaurant is in pretty poor taste I think).
ReplyDeleteOn other days when I felt really strong, happy and confident eating alone was a highlight and I would simply enjoy the beautiful view infront of me and the deliciousness in my mouth. I would also leave the restaurant feeling great about myself because I had eaten alone and not felt any self-pity! (A feat worth congratulations!)
cheers!
I have never been travelling really. So I don't know how this feels, but I do know people (Shane is one of them) who will go to a movie by themselves. This is something I feel like I could never do!
ReplyDeleteYou amaze me Liz! Congrats on your small, but important step! :)
xo Hayley